Just Let Me Pretend
by Tear me
Summary: Tristan finally got what he wanted...but does Rory? R/T
1. Lets Just Get This Over With

Disclaimer: In lack of a witty comment to this, ill just say I dont own em. 

This is my first fic...so bare with me if this story is lame or cliche...uh whatever.. 

REVIEW! PLEASE....wether it be constructive critism...or good things..which I doubt. 

Ok read on lovelies.. 

-Jen 

She sauntered to her locker absent mindedly, knowing he would be waiting for her. The events of last night was stitched in her head, the kiss, the passion, the sex. Resting her back on her locker, she waited for him. She kept herself busy, closed her eyes and licked her lips replaying every detail that had happened that night. 

~Flashback~ 

" Go away." He said coldly, his back to her. 

She could see his refined build, she would have been lying to herself if she had said he was unattractive. He sat on the edge of the bed, lit cigarette in hand. Even with his back to her, he made her knees go weak. There was no denying the fact that she had fallen for him, and she had fallen hard. He took a long drag of his cigarette, flicked it, and shook his head knowing the person was still there. " Tristan-" 

" I said leave." His voice in a hoarse whisper. She had stepped back, he never spoke to her like that. Never. The harshness in her voice made her want to run away, far away. But instead her feet didn't move backward, it went forward, toward him. 

She wanted him, she needed him to want her as much as she wanted him. She knew he didn't love her, she was just a conquest to him and she knew it. She had shrugged off his false accusations that he liked her, immune to his good looks and charm. But somewhere throughout the year, she had being to fall for him, everything about him. Her common sense told her to stay away from him, that after this night, he wouldn't speak to her, let alone notice her. But just this one night, she could pretend that he loved her, to be close to him, to feel his lips on hers, to feel him inside of her, just this one night she could be happy. Now directly behind him she sat on her knees as she took one more long look at him, she couldn't take it anymore. She rested her hands on his lower back, slowly bringing them up to his shoulders, and around his neck, his cologne intoxicating her. She placed her tongue on his neck, licking her way up to his jaw line. After taking her shirt off, she brought herself around him so that she was facing him, her legs now around his torso. Her face still licking his when he heard him groan. Satisfied with his pleasure she brang her lips to his, already losing herself. " I love you, u know that?" She breathed out. Bringing her lips to his again, barely touching, he gently shoved her off him. 

This cant be happening, she thought as she closed her eyes forcing back the tears that had already formed. How could he ignore the sparks that were present. 

"Am I not pretty enough for you? Of course I'm not, you dated a lot of girls that were much prettier than me, much more experienced, I was just a game wasn't I?" She silently asked, still closing her eyes. With no response, she continued. " Well, you know what you win, you fuckin win Tristan, I fell for you okay? I was so stupid enough to fall for your act, I thought u liked me...loved me." She said, now only a whisper. She felt like she was going to be sick, when she heard nothing but silence. Finally giving in to the tears that were lashing out for an outlet, facing down, she slowly opened her eyes, tears viciously started falling down her cheeks. Her eyes wandered to a pair of blue eyes, the same eyes that were his and his only, the same eyes that she had always got lost in, Tristans eyes. 

When he saw her close her eyes, she was obviously in pain. To hear her put down herself because of him made him crumble, it broke him in two. But when he heard her say she loved him, he felt like he could fly. She loved him, a smile quickly began to form on his lips, but vanished as he saw her, head in hands crying her heart out. How could he make her cry? He knelt down in front of her, when their eyes met. He felt a pang of guilt stuck through him realizing she hadn't stop crying. He brought his hand to her cheeks, gently wiping the tears with his thumbs. Disgusted with himself, he stood up heading for the doorway. 

Just when he opened the door, she closed it. She grabbed his arm, making him face her. She pushed him so that his back was resting on the door as she trapped him with one hand on both sides of his body. Standing on her tiptoes, she nibbled on his lip as she one hand tugged at his shirt. She ran her tongue across the bottom of his lip begging for entrance, but his mouth remained tightly shut. 

How pathetic could I get? she thought. The tears that were once falling, began to flood again. Here she was forcing herself onto him, when all he did was stand there. She backed away disgusted with herself. She laid on his bed, closing her eyes, as she heard the door open then shut. He left her. How could she think such a thing would happen, sure he had made her believe that he wanted her, maybe he made all girls feel this way, her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the door open. She abruptly sat up, surprised to find Tristan there smirking...only in his joe boxers and jeans. He walked to her, his muscles attracting every part of her body, he brought his lips to her ears and asked "You don't know how much I want to fuck you right now." He licked his lips taking in the sight of her, both half naked. Turning his head so that he was facing her, she smiled, and he gave one in return. 

He leaned in, their lips meeting halfway. It was he who was now begging for entrance, as she opened her mouth his tongue explored every inch there was. She felt like she could scream right then and now if he didn't initiate the next move, and at the same time he felt like he was going to go crazy if they didn't get closer. As if reading each others mind, he wrapped his arms around determined to get that bra off, while she took every energy she had not to deepen the kiss but rather getting his jeans off. For about a minute, she heard Tristan mumble "shit!" still struggling to get her bra off, she broke off the kiss and smiled at his disappointed look. He put on a pout, and her smile grew big. "Having trouble?" " Ive always hated bras..." and with that she took it off. But it had stopped there since she got a call from Emily to be at their house ASAP. Saying it was an emergancy. 

She muttured a curse word knowing now, that the house call was not worth leaving a dejected, but still horney Tristan behind.Interrupted by the bell, she hurried to get to class, wondering in daze where Tristan could have been. Seated, she glanced to the left and saw Tristan staring at her, she quickly flushed red at the thought that he had seen her in much less. Turning away embarrassed, he made his way to her. "Missed me much?" Her smile grew big as his smirk grew intense. As they fell into their usual banter it went unnoticed by either one of them that they had talked during the whole period. " Listen, I got go...meet me at my car afterschool?" With that, he pecked her cheek and left. Rory surprised by his sweet gesture, began to flush a deep red. 

"Hey." She said opening the door to his car. He smiled and she melted. The house was huge, none the less classy. Every painting got looked at, every furniture glanced, everything was graced by her eyes. They made their way to his room and rory being well, hot, took off her blazer and shirt, leaving her clad in only a wife beater and her skirt. Tristan did the same. They watched TV, laughed and kissed. Suprisingly no one brought up that night, and the events hadn't been repeated. Resting her hand on his chest, she thought its times like these when they couldn't get any better. Both fell asleep. 

She got home later that day thankful her mom had been at the inn due to something concerning Sookie. A lot of questions wouldn't have to be answered tonight. 

Rory dreamt that night of tristan...with another girl. She had woke up in tears, and suddenly she had remembered she was just a conquest to him. That night...he hadn't told her he loved her...hell he didn't even say he liked her. Another session of waterworks came into play, but as much as she hated to admit it, she would greedily give in, to become just another notch in his belt. 

When she got to school, she spotted him by his lockers talking to his clique. Unfazed, she dragged him away to the nearest janitors closet, and lost her virginity. Hah, who would've thought. But the love making-no it wasn't love she thought to herself bitterly ...no..the sex was fucking great. That day they did it 4 times, one in the morning before class, one at recess, one at lunch, and one in his car after school. So, school was actually good for something. They carried this on for about a week. Then she got tired. Tired of pretending he loved her, the next day she asked him the inevitable question. 


	2. Crush me baby,im all ears

Ooh look its Chapter two!  
There is bits and peices of the song 187 by Senses fail...so kiddies, I hope you like...  
REVIEW! 

-J3n 

Tristan's Pov 

Yawning for what seemed the millionth time in his car, he glanced at his watch revealing a good 20 minutes till school would start, and in the corner of his eyes he saw her. He saw his, she was his finally. Sure, it shocked him when Rory wanted to have sex with him saying she was absolutley sure she wanted to, and if she was sure he was sure. It shocked him more knowing they did it 4 times that day. The most infamous smirk painted his lips as she opened the door and sat next to him. She looked...sad. 

"And why are you smirking?" she seemed distant...not there. To lighten the mood he simply said "you." and to his dismay, her frown grew deeper. 

"Whats wrong?" He watched as she contemplated his question, bit her lip, and looked down. 

"you." A gaping hole, shot through his heart. His mouth suddenly felt dry "Huh?" was all he mangaged to say. He lost connection with her poison dart. "Tristan..." He forced himself to look at her. 

"Do you....love me?" she asked in a whisper. Of course he did, she was his everything, and here he was ready to bare all. He opened his mouth and said...nothing. He couldnt, literally, he began sweating floods of nervousness. Still looking at her, his eyes began to grow big knowing now that she was crying. He tried desperatley to nod, to show Rory he loved her, or to do somekind of sign language saying he did. But to no avail. He sat there frozen. Instead he watched as she began shaking mouthing something he couldnt hear. She repeated it, now locking eyes with his, "I never loved you, and the sex meant nothing, I lied" He began shaking, forcing the tears back into his eyes. 

~~Why did I ever let you inside my heart? I'm such a fool.  
Paint my face in shades of blood and grey and take a seat right next to me  
Well I should've known that you were a killer.  
But now I'm dead.~~ 

"No.." this cant be real...he loved her! and she...loved him! In just one sentence he died, became the frozen fuck he was once, before she came along. He took every energy he had and looked her straight in the eye...and yelled, "GET THE FUCK OUT!" Crouching over, his hand covered his eyes as he uttured I hate you's...it became harder to talk, his sobs replacing words. 

~~ My head now spins and my ears bleed gold.  
I try so fucking hard, but I can't fit your mold~~.  


But his sobs were not alone. She was still there. Her hand rested at the small of his back. She was touching him, and suddenly in that moment he forgot she hurt him. "Tristan." Uh, that voice, luckily that brought him back to reality. "Dont touch me." He whispered, sounding like a plea, a scared little boy...he felt her hand jerk back. He listened as the car door opened, and he was alone. He cursed every curse word he knew, and drived out of the park way. 

~~You ripped my heart out, you tore my eyes out, now you're gonna pay  
I'll stab you one time.  
I'll eat your heart out so you feel my pain.  
Don't you know that I always see you in all of my dreams?  
I wanna kill you.~~  
  


Ok..Review time...and no Tristan isnt gonna kill Rory..hehe :) 


	3. Heart is on the floor

Omg you guys...thanks for the reviews...i swear,I cant stop smiling...sorry if im being over dramatic but my self esteem got boosted up with every review I read...:D 

well heres Chapter 3...i hope you like it! 

the song in here is Rocks Tonic Juice Magic by Saves The Day 

-J3n 

Tristans Pov 

These tears are blurring my vision, and I wonder if this is impairing my chances of getting in a car crash, somehow I wouldn't mind being in one right now. Searching for a cigarette in one of my compartments I came across a hair tie, her hair tie. With my free hand I brought it up to my face, and smelt it. Intoxicating. I smile, and without hesitation I flew it out of the window. It doesn't matter now, she doesn't matter. Tonight I'm gonna forget about her. I drove to the farthest bar I knew. 

"Let me take this awkward saw, And run it against your thighs, Cut some flesh away, I'll carry this piece of you with me, Because all I can say tonight is that I hate you.." I sang so quietly that even I couldn't hear my own voice. 

"What will it be?" I looked up to an scruffy old man, half shaven waiting impatiently for my answer. I watched as his cigarette dangled from his mouth, his fingers tapping slightly on the mahogany table. 

"Vodka....straight." My mouth began to water watching the white liquid being poured to a cup. He slid it to me, and I suddenly realized I would give anything to be him, anything to not be me. Tonight ill drink enough to forget about her, everything about her. I took 7 shots till it finally started working. Forgotten name. Another. A forgotten pair eyes. Another. The way she made me feel. Another. They way I let myself love her. My head became too heavy, I gently tried to rest my head on the counter, much harder than I expected, a loud thump proved that I was drunk. "And if not I'll take my spoons, And dig out your blue eyes, I'll swallow them down to my colon, They're gonna burn like hell tonight." I slurred loud enough to make the bartender hear. 

"What the fuck kid?" 

"My heart is on the floor, Why don't you step on it?,When I think of all the things you've done..." I yelled. Stammering to get off the stool, I watched in amusement as this old man became confused. Leaning one hand on the counter, I finally managed to stand up straight. 

"Hey! I don't know what you're on kid...but I didn't do anything to you." 

"Noooo...not you...its ROOORY." 

"Whats a Rooory?" A shrugged off his question as I took my supporting arm off the counter. I can stand...No, no I cant. Laying down on my back, the old man kindly offered his hand, and I took it. 

"Are you ok?" 

"Me? Hahaha don't worry about it, I meant to fall." 

"You meant to fall?" 

"...If only I hadn't fell for her." 

"What the fuck ya talkin about?" 

My resolution on forgetting about her failed, as I grabbed my glass off the counter, dropped a hundred and headed for the door. Suprisingly I had made my way to the exit without falling, and the staggering was at a minimum. It was as if the thought about her made me sober...funny...i could always get drunk off her kisses. 

Once out the door at the top of my lungs I sang "I'd buy you lemonade right now if you were here But then I'd throw it in your face And I'd listen to you cry..." Much to my expectancy, I saw the old mans head out the door looking at me as if I were crazy. I began hysterically laughing, doubling over clutching at my stomach. I laughed because of that man, I laughed at how pathetic I was. Tristan "Player" Dugrey fell over a girl...and *gasp* she didn't fall for him. I felt my face getting wet, I looked up at the sky still laughing expecting to see rain drops, my laughter stopped abruptly realizing that it hadn't been raining...I had been crying...again. 

Driving home that night safely was beyond me. Whats even more beyond me was that I was in my bed...in one piece. I had about 20 shots of pure vodka, and here I am, alive. If the road hadn't killed me, I was sure that the alcohol would. Maybe it took a while for the poison to take me, maybe I wouldn't have to wake up tomorrow. My eyes began to flutter, as I whispered the last lyric of the song. "You and I are like when fire and the ocean floor collide." and with that I slept. 

Like it? No? Yes? Well theres only one way for me to know...  
Yes thats right click the review button and give me a review...  
Im craaaaving! :)  


  



	4. Bloody Romance

Chapter 4 

Thanx for all the reviews 

A little R rated here...but nothing too graphic 

The song in here is Bloody Romance by Senses Fail  
This chapter is kind of cliche...but give it a try. 

-J3n 

Rorys Pov 

I had decided that day when I was left in the Parking lot to ditch school. I had decided to walked home. It was a long walk, but it was good time for me to think. I still couldn't forget the way his blue eyes began to tear, the way he had been sobbing, the way he yelled at me with such force in his voice to "get the fuck out." But the most hardest thing to forget was the way his voice sounded when he told him not to touch him. So scared, so hurt. It had cut through me, and here I am now on my floor holding my torn heart in my hands, trying desperately to put them together. I had been stupid for lying to him like that. I still hadn't gotten over the fact that I had been right. He hadn't told me he loved me, but why was he relentlessly crying in the car? He had been so hurt. Was he going to miss the sex we had that bad? 

Or maybe he did love me, it doesn't matter now because he hates me. 

Shaking my head to relieve all the thoughts that had consumed my head I searched for my favorite hair tie. No such luck, a shiny object captured my attention, picking the razor blade up I began to stare at it for who knows how long. 

I heard my mother in the distant saying something. I yelled back something incoherent, panicking, I stuck the razor blade in one of the pockets in my backpack. I smelt coffee meaning my mom would be near by. I looked up to see her in her usual giddy mood, hands on either side of her hips. I wondered for a second if she had seen me earlier fiddling with the sharp thing, but to my relief her smile indicated she didn't. 

"Do I have to drag you to the living room?" 

Shaking my head, I gulped down the lump that began to form in my throat. "I'm ready." 

"Finally!" She yelled skipping on her way. 

~~Next day at Chilton~ 

Leaning my head on the locker, I let my thoughts deteriorate me before homeroom started. I smelt a familiar sent of cologne and opened my eyes just in time to see he was coming towards me. He looked different somehow, there was this jagged aura around him and his eyes were so...dead. His all to familiar smirk was there and I approached him. 

"Tristan, look I'm sorry-" He walked right passed me before giving me this glare that could freeze fire. At that moment I felt like I could die. With just one look he had my heart ripped out and tore it to pieces, the worst part was he looked like he didn't care, satisfied even. 

~~Life, is floating fast away.  
But I look, your head is turned away.~~  


The bell rang and instead of going to homeroom I went to the bathroom. I couldn't go to class like this. Making sure no one was in there, I began to cry. It was astonishing, no matter how much I cried, the tears never ran out, it was as if my tears were immortal. Searching for tissue in the bathroom stalls became tiring and I went through my bag as the last resort. Digging in my bag, I suddenly felt a pang of pain from one of my fingers. Muttering a curse word as stared at my pointer finger that had been sliced slightly, I felt better. Looking for the razor blade still crying, a smile began to form on my lips as I felt a metal piece between my fingers. I folded my sleeves up, and placed the razor on my skin... "So slice open my veins, And let the romance bleed away..." I sang. Slice. "So slice open my veins And let the romance bleed away." Slice. Tears. A frown. Realizing what I have just done, I brought my hand to my mouth to cover the "Oh my gods" that escaped my lips. My lips began to tremble and I waited for the second play of waterworks to erupt. I heard a gasp, and looked in the mirror to see a very frightened Paris behind me. In that moment I froze. 

"Oh my god Rory...what were you thinking, what made you do this?" Silence. 

"It was Tristan, wasn't it?" The mention of his named burned the frozen state I was in, and I began to cry. Paris immediately came and embraced me in what I think she called a hug. She told me everything would be all right. Yeah right, everything will be all right. Bullshit. 

"Please don't tell him..." 

"shhh...hun, don't worry." A wetness began to form on my shoulders and I realized Paris had been crying also. Touched, I began to comfort her too. There was a good 15 minutes till homeroom were to end, wanting to clean up the sink I told her to wait outside. Understanding what I was talking about, ready to leave she opened the door wide enough for me too see him leaning casually on a locker making out with a girl. I Forced my gaze to the floor and to my relief Paris hadn't know I seen him. Once the door closed, I slumped to the ground head in hands, knowing already that she was going to talk to him, I forced myself to get up and open the door slightly to hear.   
"You know Dugrey you are something else." 

"Paris, not now I'm busy." Indicating his new flavor of the week. 

"Don't talk to Rory again.." Her voice had been warning, and I became afraid of what she was going to say. 

"I'm not planning to." A quiver of my lips. 

"You hurt her, you asshole." 

"Why does she always have to be the victim, shut it Paris, you don't know what you're talking about." His voice rising. 

"She was the one that ruined it, she was the jerk." A sting to my eyes. 

"You Hurt-" 

"She wasn't the only one hurting..." The tears ran freely now. 

"Well from what I have seen, shes physically hurting..." Oh my god. She promised she wasn't going to tell him... 

"What?" 

"So slice open my veins And let the romance bleed away." she had repeated the words that had been previously said from my mouth. With that she walked away. Not bothering to pull down my sleeves, I carelessly wiped the tears away, and rushed to him. My wounds forgotten, the only wounds that mattered was his. I had to set him straight, I had to tell him the truth. I waited until he told the girl goodbye and it was then that I approached him. 

"Tristan-" 

"Who are you?" 

"Stop this please...im sorry." Not having the energy to look at him I hung my head in shame. "Please just hear me out and then ill leave you alone I promise." 

"Mary, look at me." Lifting my head so I could look him in the eyes, the first thing I noticed that his eyes weren't clouded with bitterness like it had been this morning, instead it was dancing with sincerity and concern. He wrapped his hand around my naked wounded hand and panicking I jerked my hand back pushing down my sleeves. Frowning at how much the slices hurt, he must have taken it in the wrong way because the sincerity his eyes had possessed had disappeared. I watched as he shook his head and looked me in the eyes with such intensity that I was afraid I would fall. His jaw clenched and he stared at the ground. 

"I don't know why I'm still talking to you, its over." 

"Over?" My knees began shaking and in need of support I leaned against the locker. 

"Yea...we fucked and its now its over." All the while he was still staring at the ground. He thinks I'm dirt. 

My mouth went dry and my vision began to blur. Silence. It was as if in slow motion he lifted his eyes looked at me, the fire in his eyes dancing. Then he uttered a sentence that made me wish I had never heard. 

"Have a good life and I hope to never see you again." His voice in a hoarse whisper. With that I watched as he turned and walk away. Tristan had left with my heart and I was terrified wondering what he would do to it.   
"Bye Bye Trisan, Bye Bye heart." 

------------ 

Ok...reviewww time people! 

  
  



	5. Glycerine

Chapter uhh 5? 

The song in here is Glycerine by Bush 

Thanx for the Reviews... 

-J3n 

Tristans POV 

~Lunch Period~ 

Summ- no thats not her name, Cristy was it? well whats her name began playing with my fingers as she had sat uninvitingly on my lap. All I could think about was Rory. Go figure. 

"Babe ya got blood on your hands..." 

"Huh?" She brought up my hands to my face to show that indeed she was correct. I searched for a cut but nothing showed. It wasn't my blood. Then all of a sudden Paris's words got into my head. "You hurt her, Shes physically hurting, Slice open my veins-" It all began to unravel, the way Rory had pulled away from me...to pull down her sleeves. Rory had hurt herself because of me. Shit. I didn't pay attention to the rest of the day, and after school came quick. 

I found myself on my bed staring at the ceiling, oblivious to the world around me. I had screwed up, and I did a magnificent job at it. I heard a tap on my window but didn't bother to check it out. Another tap. Irritated I stood up and to my utter amazement it was non other than Rory. Once she got in, I touched her face. 

"What are you doing?" 

"Making sure you're real..." My hands trailed to the side of her body, gently picking up her forearm, I looked at the three slices and began to tear. Bringing it up to my lips I kissed it wanting it to disappear. 

"Promise-" As if reading my mind she brought her lips to mine and smiled against it, "Never again.." The window was left open and the September winds seemed to seep in me making me shiver. Our breaths painted the blue sky with white, and I suddenly felt the urge to rid our clothing. So thats what we did, and we stood in front of the window freezing. It was as if she was the only one who could make me warm again, reaching out I caressed her face and to my expectancy, her skin was fire. So Hot. I held her tightly, wanting to become warm again, afraid of the coldness I had experienced these past days. 

~~must be your skin that I'm sinking in  
must be for real cuz now I can feel  
and I didn't mind  
it's not my kind  
not my time to wonder why~~ 

She didn't pull away, instead she clung with such intensity that her nails dug deep into my back. In that moment I understood that we needed each other to stay alive. I fed off of her, while she did the same to me. 

  
Review 

  



	6. Late Night Visits

Chapter 6 

The song in here is The choke by Saves The Day 

I hope you guys like this chapter...a little angst and *fluff* 

I changed the rating to R 

-J3n 

Tristans Pov 

I stroked her hair, listening to her heart beat wishing every night would be like this. She had fallen asleep being tired of the 5 times. Obvious. She shifted in her sleep all the while I kept busy just staring at her, whispering sweet nothings to her ear. Her coffee colored tresses lay all over the pillow, the moon light reflected off her face and she couldn't have been more beautiful. She looked so angelic so untouchable. 

"Don't leave yet it's still early and I haven't even said a word and I'm hoping that I might upset you by saying what I want to cause it's not like you don't know I've fallen for you but it's in my head and that's where you can't see it." I sang to her sleeping figure. Fixated on the way her chest would rise and fall, it took my breath away. She took my breath away with every glance. 

She shifted again, grabbing my hand in hers, still asleep. "and I thought that maybe if I had to bite the tips of my fingers I could stumble over words and tell you just how far before I hit the ground and I'm the type to think of all the wrong things to say and I will shut myself up and I'll never come out-" 

I watched as her shifting became more frequent, in no time she would wake. Her eyes began to open, revealing the most bluest eyes I had ever seen. Her mouth twitched into a smile and I continued "I can say this- I can collect myself deep down and then come out punching and I'll scream out loud." Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. 

"I love you." But she was already gone. I stared out the window watching as her petite figure ran off to the horizon. 

The stars seemed too bright for the black inked sky tonight. It was beautiful...the stars reminded me of her eyes, the way it sparkled. I found myself wishing the stars would never fall. "I love you Mary." my breath, like smoke against the night.   
  
Lame excuse as a chapter, I know 

but none the less I hope you liked it  
Review!  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. Forever yours

Chapter 7! 

Its no longer R, but back to its original Pg-13 

Its almost coming to an end folks, I'm thinking of 2 more chapters at the least, 3 at the most.  
Thanx for your lovely comments  
-J3n 

Rorys Pov 

I ran home that night with a smile on my face, I couldn't have been more happy. Sadly I had taken off not wanting that moment to be spoiled with explanations and questions of these past days. I wrote a short but heartfelt letter to him and all I could hope for was that he would understand. 

Dear Tristan,  
You were my first in a lot of ways and I hope you know that. That saying "All good things comes to an end." is true. Tristan, no one ever made me feel the way you do, and if it were a different time and place, id say we could have last, maybe even grow old together. But there are too many wounds present, and I know you know that. It hurts not being together, but it hurts more being together. Lets end it here before the wounds get too deep, before we would end up hating each other. Id hate to see you one of these days and have one of those artificial conversations with you, because you know...the banters will always be ours. Don't be a stranger. 

Forever yours, 

Mary. 

I gave him that letter the next day. He read it and gave me the most emotion felt hug I had ever had, the longest one too. Of course I cried, and if I'm not mistaken he did also. He ran a hand through his blonde tousled hair and said there was something in his eyes. I could only laugh. 

He'd called me somedays talking about his latest argument with his parents and I would inform him the latest Taylor fiasco. He'd call me up sometimes, just listening to each others breaths. Id see him in school and he would give me the smile, the smile that I only knew, the smile he only gave to me. We'd go out...as friends of course. He would spend nights at my house watching Willy Wonka and whatever my mom had insisted we watch that day. He'd sometimes lay on my shoulder, not knowing of course. I sometimes found myself sniffing in his scent, fighting the urges to wrap my arms around him, to give him a kiss on his forehead. I found myself a lot of times regretting breaking it off. 

I hadn't seen him with a girl for a few weeks but then he casually started dating. He even found this one girl he would talk about on end, Cristy. Of course I was jealous, the fact that I still loved him was oblivious to him. Now It was rarely he would ever come over blaming it on his girlfriend, family etc. The phone calls had stopped eventually. In school he rarely acknowledged me. If he did, I was the one who would come up to him first. The thing I hated most was the way he acted towards me, he acted as if I was some girl he'd known. Wed even stop the banters and have one of those artificial conversations that I had disliked with the "hows school" and "that test was hard." He'd even replaced his smile, the one he'd only put on for me with the his all to famous smirk. 

But what had brought me to tears every night was the fact that he'd stop calling me Mary. With such a small word there was so much meaning. 

I guess it was good he stopped being friends with me, it was much easier to move on. 

But till this day, 1 week before graduation, he still owned my heart, sadly I gave his heart back a long time ago and he had accepted it with open arms. 

Hmm... 

Sad I know...but dont worry! 

REVIEW! 

-J3n 


	8. Goodbye?

Chapter 8 

the reviews are slow, and I miss them :( 

The song in here Is Broken Promise Ring- The Ataris 

Tristans Pov 

She gave me a letter but as much as I hate to admit it, it was true, all of it. I cried, made up some lame excuse that there was something in my eyes. Id go to her house Saturday nights, and we'd laugh the nights through. Id call her just wanting to hear her voice. I almost had forgotten that we weren't together. 

_~~I really wanna call you, but I know that it's not right.  
I probably shouldn't tell you but I dreamed of you last night.  
I guess I'm not prepared to say...  
Goodbye, so long, farewell, I won't be seeing you again~~_  


So I gradually stopped seeing her, calling her, I even went the long mile and treated her as every one else, no one special. I was afraid. I remember our calls being filled with nothing but our breaths, I started talking about Cristy in fear of blurting out "I love you." because that would ruin it, ruin what we have been working for. 

_~~You told me that you loved me, I started tearing down those walls.  
I really started to trust you but you set me up to take the fall.  
I guess I'm not prepared to say...  
Goodbye, so long, farewell, I won't be seeing you again~~_  


I realized this wouldn't work. I cant be her friend, just her friend. So I had to cut all ties with her and that meant everything. No more movie nights, no more calls, no more calling her Mary. If this friendship went on someone would bound to get hurt. I didn't want her to get hurt- vice versa. 

Of course there was the occasional stares when she wasn't looking, the nights wasted just thinking about her. But that was it. 

Sure I went out with girls after our breakup, wed kiss but that was all. No one could compare to her, No one had the chance to compare to her because they were no competition. 

_~~I guess that I'm wrong for falling in love,  
But you're still the one that I'm dreaming of.  
I guess that it's you I want to hold onto~~_  


So here I am after the grad ceremony just staring at her. Her hair is longer and the blue graduation uniform brought out her eyes, she had the same smile. After all these months she still could take my breath away. I couldn't just leave like this, it wouldn't be fair. I had to tell her, she deserves to know. 

"Congratulations _Mary_." Her eyes sparkled. 

"Mary?" She laughed and so did I. I missed this. 

"What college are you going to?" I asked lamely already knowing already she was going to Yale. 

"Yale." 

"Ah, great choice, Princeton." She looked to the ground. I had to tell her now, its now or never Dugrey. 

"Yeah I just wanted to tell you I did." 

"Did?" 

"Love you, that is." a sad smile painted her features.   
"I know, I did too." She sighed and said she wasn't good with goodbyes. 

We hugged and she pulled away tears in her eyes. She ran a hand through her hair and said in a low voice there was something in her eyes. I laughed remembering that day. She kissed my cheek and left. I watched as she made a turn at the corner and she was gone. 

ok review!!! 

and no this isn't the end yet... 

-Jen 


	9. All I Cant Taste Is This Moment

Ok!   
Heres the happy ending that I promised you guys..  
I hope you like it 

-J3n 

Her head rested on the pillow, her blue eyes seemed void of feeling. It had been a week since she had said goodbye, and she finally felt it was time to really move on, but for some reason she felt more at loss since. 

A small pout appeared while looking at her backpack all packed up, the plane tickets to Europe on her dresser, the room almost looking empty. The clock read 2:02, in 4 hours she would be at the airport. 

She stood up, and looked out the window, a sense of nostalgia hit her looking at the scenery before her. The moon had been out, and the sky was inked black...just like the night she had spent with Tristan many months before. She shook her head. She was gonna miss him. A lot. A tear escaped knowing that she would never see that shade of blue eyes again. Another tear knowing she wouldn't see his smile, or his voice. 

Turning away, she heard a tap. A smile overtook the pout. She always had a sense when he was around, her heart would flutter, and she would get lightheaded. Turning around, her eyes met a pair of blue, she slowly made her way to the window unsure if he was just a figment of her imagination. But the overwhelming light headedness began to take place, and her heart fluttered. 

She opened the window and he came in. She ran her index finger against his cheek. His mouth constricted into a smile and he asked what she was doing. She too began to beam at this deja vu. 

"Making sure-" She was interrupted by a pair of lips crushing onto hers. 

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Ok! 

**The END**

all trorys deserve a happy ending. 

I know this was short, but none the less..  
REVIEW! 

-J3n 


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